Loss of a loved one through death
Losing someone you love through death can have several devastating effects on the ones left behind. Some may wish that it could have been better if they themselves would have died in the place of the loved one who is now gone. Moving on or forward is always a difficult thing for those left behind who find it difficult to cope with what I would term their new reality( it may take time but eventually they will come to realize that the other person is no more and there is nothing they can do to bring them back)…
What to do in the event of such a loss and how you can move on remains a puzzling thought and is never the same from one person to another coz though we may lose a loved one through similar circumstances we never feel in a similar way and it can also not be predicted.
Below are a few things which can help you to move on, but I assure you it will not been an easy journey but it may help you come into terms with your ordeal and steer your on to your path to recovery. The path to recovery can be short or long depending on the individual involved, support around them and how close they were to the deceased.
You have to get back to reality and acknowledge that things have changed, that person is no more and that has brought about a new picture, a new reality.
You have to accept that what has happened is terrible, you might not have seen it coming but there is nothing you can do to unwind the clock
Your world has crushed but you are not the first one to lose a loved one and certainly you won’t be the last. Knowing this makes you are aware of people who have gone through similar circumstances or situations.
Yes it hurts like hell, but you are still alive and you owe it to be alive to yourself, your children, your parents or friends (in short to all those who are close to you and beyond).
You have to make a choice eventually to move forward… you see you cannot go back to what used to be, you can not stay also where you are at now, so the only option is moving on , moving forward( still it will not be easy)
Be part of something new be it an activity, a group, a new friendship or a new job. Old places, old things remind you of what used to be which no more is. Being part of something new gives you an opening or a new beginning (new way of living), it could give you a new perspective on life and other issues.
Maintain your old friends… maintaining your old friends will give you a shoulder to cry on coz they know you more and they understand better than anyone else what has happened to you and what you are going through.
It’s true that you feel beyond hurt, but try to dig deep within yourself in search of the desire to live. Looking at the positive things that you have done or achieved since your loss could be a starting point.
© 2011 Justice Chikandamina
